![[icon]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/23721533/2162751) |
Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Chocolate
|
| | Current Music: | "Sad October" by Five Way Friday | | Subject: | Cairo or bust | | Time: | 02:47 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/confused.gif) pensive |
|
| So I'm sitting here, about ready to have kittens.
This break has been spent in denial, drinking, in denial, and just generally overwhelmed. It was one thing to say "Yeah, I'm going to study in Cairo", but now I've got four days here, and then I'm gone until June. I'll try to update this thing more regularly there, but right now I can't fathom much, so no promises.
I've been running around, and it has suddenly hit me that I have to fit everything that I'll need for nineteen weeks into a suitcase smaller than my desktop at school. So I'm sitting here typing in my long-neglected LJ instead of packing anything else. I've already packed all my socks and underwear and most of the shirts I'm bringing.
I haven't updated because I don't know what to say to people. The obvious thing to say is that I'm excited, but I don't know if that's the right word. "Excited" connotates a positive feeling, and that's certainly not all of it. I'm really going to miss my family, and while I know that my friends all do just fine without me, I'll still miss them. I'm sure I'll have a good time, but I'm terrified about what will happen while I'm gone.
On the other hand, I think that some time away may be just what the doctor ordered. Going somewhere else has helped me get out of weird moods in the past, maybe it'll help this time... I'd really like to have a bit of a change over there, because I feel like something's got to change. I'd love to promise that the Megan who goes to Cairo is not going to be the same girl who comes back from Cairo, but no promises, right? Last semester was alright once I got some crap sorted out, but I've still got a ways to go. I'd like to think that I'm going to meet some really fun people over there, but a different kind of fun than my friends here are, because I don't want to replace the friends I have here or make them feel like they're being replaced. No one could ever do that to you guys. I'm going to try to be more fun, but who knows. Either way, if you've got something to say to me, just remember that I fully intend to come back different.
March is just not allowed to happen this year. No one is allowed to die at least. Because I hate to be superstitious, but I've just got a really awful feeling about that. So everyone. No dying. Dying is a strike.
I don't know if I'll get to update before I leave, but in case I don't, take care of yourselves. Remember that even though it may not seem that way all the time, I love you all dearly, and I'm going abroad with the hopes of coming back a better person so that you guys can maybe love me a little more, if that's not too hard. That's not meant to be mean, it's just me saying that I know that I'm hard to love and I really wish I wasn't so hard to love and that I'm sorry that I ask for so much love and time.
Love you all, even if I don't show it, and please remember that.
Megan
A chill in the air of a sad October
All my friends are fading away
I'll be glad when it's finally over
Outrunning the weather one more day
Sitting alone all by myself
Too afraid to be somewhere else, but I'm O.K.
Somewhere in this confusion is a thought from long ago
Wondering about this road I'm choosing
But I need for you to know that...
I'll be waiting
If you ever need to reach me
I'll wipe your tears away
Hear what I'm saying
But for once I'm not mistaken
I'll be waiting on the road not taken | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment   |
| Two songs before I go:
When everything that once was right is wrong
And every little ray of hope is gone
When you feel a bit more lost than you feel found.
Lay your weary body down
When you wake up and you're miles away from home
And you go to sleep a little more alone
Caught between the heavens and the ground
Lay your weary body down
Next to mine
When you're sick in love and crazy with regret
Can't find enough to drink till you forget
A love you know will never come back round
Lay your weary body down,
Lay your weary body down
- "Lay your weary body down" by the Gigolo Aunts
Fare thee well
My own true love
Farewell for a while
I’m going away
But I’ll be back
Though I go 10,000 miles
10,000 miles
My own true love
10,000 miles or more
The rocks may melt
And the seas may burn
If I should not return
Oh don’t you see
That lonesome dove
Sitting on an ivy tree
She’s weeping for
Her own true love
As I shall weep for mine
Oh come ye back
My own true love
And stay a while with me
If I had a friend
All on this earth
You’ve been a friend to me
- “10,000 Miles” by Mary Chapin Carpenter
Miss you guys already. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Hi!
I hope everyone has a happy thanksgiving and they actually got all their work done before break. Unlike myself. Because my computer has apparently decided that it's a-okay to have fits and to eat two twelve-page papers the night before they're due, along with an outline that's due two days later. That's right folks. My computer won another battle of wits. So I've taken over mum's computer for a bit.
Thanksgiving was going to be all nice and restful, but well, karma baby.
I hope everyone else has a great thanksgiving. I look forward to tales of everyone's weird families. Please?
In the spirit of not needing serious mood-altering drugs, I'm going to make a list of the things I'm thankful for right now right this instant
-my family (cheesy, but yes)
-my own bed that is low enough that if I fall out of it I won't break any ribs
-friends who appreciate me for my insanity
-warm wool socks
-a working clothes dryer that I don't have to wait in line for
-ice box cake
-my mother's amazing abilities that retrieved two pages of the twelve that I had written, which is way more than I retrieved.
-bad TV
-coffee
-knowing that what goes around comes around
-the six (yes, six) bags of Lay's classic potato chips sitting on our counter. because that's just funny
-Egypt in one month and twenty-six days! woot!
-knowing that even though a certain someone is great and I'll never have them in a bizillion years, he's still great and fun and even though he's got a girlfriend he doesn't treat me like I'm a bad thing to be around.
-sleeping pills (that enabled me to sleep the night my computer ate all of my papers)
-all the bad music that I've dug up in my room. it's just funny.
-being able to walk. even if I'm unlikely to totally recover, I'll settle for being able to walk and function
-all the cool stories I acquired over the past year regarding freak accidents, injuries, and general freak escapades.
that's a quick list. happy thanksgiving.
meggers | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Well, this took...way too long. It's been, what? Six years or so, depending at what threshold you start counting. But at this moment in time, I get it. I'm afraid to go to sleep for fear that I'll forget this feeling, but that's about all I'm afraid of.
All that crap that happened freshman year of high school, I've been trying to, not forget it, but I guess force myself into denial, and when that didn't work, I've tried to gloss over it. The past three or so weeks have proven that I didn't do a good job of that, and the incessant poking and prodding and fear of an emotional breakdown has pushed me further than I ever thought that I could go again.
I get it. Glossing it over wasn't the right thing to do- it happened. Denying it is only hurting me and the people around me. I'm so sorry. It happened though, and for the first time, I think ever, I genuinely loathe him. Because it's not going away. It's not something that you can take back, and it's not something that goes away or something that can be hugged better (though it can help in certain situations :) ). It's not going away, and the only way to get better is to realize that it's not going away. Nor, contrary to what some of my readings may have said, was it my fault.
Get it? It wasn't my fault. It happened, and I hate you for ruining my life and putting me thorugh six years of torture. I hate him, and if I saw him right this instant, I wouldn't run away. For the first time in six years I feel like I can stand up and tell him that I may have made mistakes, but nothing justifies this and it's my damned right to be happy. He took that away for so long, but I finally understand how to get past it. And I finally understand how "living well is the best revenge" can work without the need for revenge taking over my life.
It's not going to be all sunshine and flowers from here on out, I make no claim to that. But I feel like this is a starting point.
I bought my plane tickets to Cairo today. But right now that seems so inconsequential.
And right now I feel like people can love me for being the bitchy cranky person I am, and they'll love me while I'm going through this rough patch, and they'll love me when I go to Egypt, and they'll love me when I get back.
Just because it all got ruined doesn't mean it has to stay that way.
Take that.
I'm writing this down as much to apologize as to remind myself when I sink back into that scared place. I'm going to try. Add it to the list I guess. Whatever. I feel too damned good right now.
And since it's 1 am, I am going to go to bed. With a smile.
Thankyou
Meg
/And in the midst of all the blame, I found my freedom and my voice/ | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It looks like this whole study abroad thing is actually going to happen. Which is scary on so many f-ing levels. I'm really excited, but I'm worried about going away for so long. I'll miss everyone but some sick part of me is worried about anyone missing me back.
That's part of how things started going downhill, and how I ended up back in counseling. I had to read an article about sexual and dating abuse for a class, and one of the contentions was that the perpetrator can't help how they act and some victims are drawn to that. Added all up, I ended up spending an entire five days at home trying to get comfortable in my own skin again. It's been really hard, but I think I've made up most of the ground I lost when I read that article.
I'm also stuck in this cycle of self-loathing. All that crap happened...what? six years ago? and it still hurts me and makes me want to throw up when I read about it or hear about it. I really thought I was past this, but I guess maybe I was wrong.
That's where the missing thing comes in. It's bad enough being away from my family, especially with the way Marches tend to go- every other year, something goes terrifically wrong with March. March normally sucks, but I mean it gets really bad every other year, and that's due to be this year. I'm trying to get over it and break this cycle, and I'm doing better. But back to my family. I'm going to miss them, but my cell phone's international and we've got e-mail and all that jazz (which I will have access to in Egypt). I'm worried about my friends. In the past, in almost every relationship no matter what type it was, I've felt like once someone stops missing me and needing me, they'll avoid me again. That's what I'm scared of. I'm not afraid of bombings or shootings or the bird flu or malaria or yellow fever. Those are things that happen anyway, but I feel like going away from everyone will just give them a better excuse to get away from me. I already feel kind of isolated here- Sarah's got Shawn and I feel like I'm generally not welcome (there, I said it) regarding that. Ben's all off in isolation mode, Mike's in the sem, and everyone else is running around like crazy getting ready to grow up and enter the real world or is insanely busy. Which is fine, but I feel like I've got a limited amount of time to talk to everyone before I leave and I don't want to miss the chance, even to talk about dumb things like "would you rather" (yeah, that was a blatant attempt at creating discussion. which failed miserably, as per usual).
I'd like to think in some disturbingly self-centered way that everyone will keep going while I'm gone, but they won't leave me behind. That's such a hard thing to do, especially when we're on separate continents.
Also of note on the self-pity scale: I was thinking the other day and I couldn't remember the last time someone took care of me because they were attracted to me. I'm doing all well and fine with the independence thing, well, better than I was, but I'm so damned tired and all I want is a little companionship and a little human contact. I feel like Sarah's grown miles away from me and we don't really have a connection anymore. I feel like I've stopped existing for her. So yeah, I'm jealous. I just feel like it's been so long since I've had a conversation of substance that I've started reverting to what I was doing sophomore year of high school. I've got great friends, but I feel...I don't know. I know I've been draining lately, but all I want to do is feel safe around someone again. It's not that I feel unsafe around most of my friends, but I just don't feel like I'm 100% wanted. I'd like to cuddle up and be able to cry and talk about what happened. I think I'm ready for that, to do that with people here. I want to feel fun again, and I want people to understand that I want to be taken care of a little. Not pampered ridiculously, but have someone do something sweet. I'm such a selfish person I disgust myself. I'm just so damned tired and I feel so worn-down that I just want to feel a warm emotion.
On the bright side...well I survived my two midterms today. Model UN is coming together.
Grump.
Sorry for the depressing update, but consider this me saying what I've been trying to say through nonverbal communication for the past few weeks.
Will attempt to be happy.
Megan
/but as soon as you turn this way I’ll stay late
now time won’t wait for us
you say we happened just because
but that’s not the way it’s supposed to be
no not for me
so let it all go down
and let me turn you around
and I will make you smile
the way you did
the way I thought that this was supposed to
be
now I’m not made for this
the truth that she would not admit
the greatest falling stars are in her eyes
no not in her lies/ | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "Making Memories of Us" by Keith Urban | | Subject: | the survey questions | | Time: | 05:25 pm | | Current Mood: | sappy because of this song |
|
| So I put a post in Sam's lj asking her to interview me. The deal is she asks me five questions and I've got to answer them. Being the genius I am, she probably sent the questions at least a week ago and I didn't think to check my e-mail (because I'm special like that).
So, here it goes:
Subject: Re: interview me?
I'm feeling sort of political, so here goes:
1. How do you feel about the forced evacuation of people living on the Gaza strip?
I'm certainly not thrilled with it, but I'm truly impressed with Ariel Sharon and Mahmoud Abbas. By the way that politics have worked there, Sharon probably could have backed out of the treaties and deals he made and had no politcal ramifications from his supporters. Instead, he chose to take the high ground and make a move that could have caused a major fallout from his own constituents. What does concern me is Egypt opening up their borders for the Palestinians initially. It's only temporary, but that leaves some big issues to deal with. At this point in time, Abbas needs to focus on reigning in the suicide bombings (homicide bombing strikes me as such a political term...of course it's a homicide bombing. The point of it is to kill people) like he has been. I think that the international community also has to step back and realize what a big deal this was for Israel and applaud their efforts.
2. What do you think we should be doing in Iraq currently that we are not?
Pulling out? No. I think we're in such a deep pile of shit right now though that there's no way out. The Iraq war was unpopular when it was started, and now it's just gone downhill. We can't set a timetable because that will give the insurgents confidence and information, but at the same time, we can't just remain there indefinitely. We made a mistake on the scale of the WMD's there, but the fact remains that no matter how small the quantity, Iraq was in violation of the UN mandates. The mass graves uncovered also reveal that the humanitarian aspect of this has been overlooked, but that's completely understandable when people are dying everyday for a cause that few believe in anymore. We need to stop making huge deals about every major capture we make in any war and focus on actually setting attainable goals. For example: goal- winning support in Iraqi people. bad. goal- making sure that the Iraqi people receive resources they need such as running water and health care. good, even though that's not much of a military goal. I think that we need to let the Iraqis deal with the problems in Iraq to prove that we don't want a colony (despite conspiracy theories), but be ready to help if the leaders want it. Mostly, we need to stop focusing entirely on Iraq's failures, and as republicans we need to accept that Bush will never be widely-loved in a good scenario.
3. What charity do you most want to donate money to right now?
I'd like to donate to the American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association. I know that's not a particularly popular decision, but I feel that floods of donations are detrimental in the long run. Rushing to focus on the current catastrophe is all well and good at the time, but other charities must suffer in order to help large amounts of people. The AARDA promotes research and information relating to all auto immune and related diseases. In times of crisis, they also provide support to people suffering from autoimmune diseases in affected areas so that people who need specific help and medical treatment can get it. The money also goes to research and development in the hopes of one day being able to stop the body from attacking and destroying itself.
4. Have you fulfilled your scary idea yet (T)?
I said "hi" in class. And talked a bit. I'm not sure now that there's anything there. Is v. sad, but it's probably for the better. I think. I'm going to just go with that thought so that I don't get all upset again.
5. Favorite song at this EXACT moment?
"Making Memories of Us" by Keith Urban. It's so sappy, but wouldn't it be great if it were true and someone felt this way towards another person? That thought makes me happy that someone surely feels that way about someone else.
So that's taken care of. Also of note: I've got poison ivy. I think the only part of my body that hasn't itched is my teeth. Classic. And a cocktail party to go to tomorrow night with my gross rashy legs. Three cheers for dressy pants and heels.
Off to do something terrifically unproductive
Meg
/we'll follow the rainbow wherever the four winds blow
there'll be a new day coming your way
I'm going to be for you from now on this you know somehow
you've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
I'm going to make you a promise if there's life after this
I'm going to be there to meet you with a warm wet kiss
and I'm going to love you like nobody loves you
and I'll earn your trust making memories of us/ | | comments: Leave a comment |
| We're back in action at the hill. I'm ready for classes to start, but not quite so ready for this semester to fly by. Soooo much to do before going abroad. Gah.
Off to unpack some more.
Meggers | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "Half Life" by Duncan Sheik | | Time: | 11:37 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/bouncy.gif) energetic |
|
| I'm going to get over this funk by coming up with a new goal.
I am going to be able to pass the FBI's fitness test.
All of the situps, pull ups, sprints, push ups, and mileage.
Ben- help?
This is a big "fuck you" to myself. This is to prove that fracturing one's spine doesn't mean a damned thing, and that having other outstanding medical issues like I have doesn't mean that I can't do this, and it also provides an excellent opportunity to work a few...issues out of my system.
Not that I'm planning on applying to the FBI. It's just for the sake of being able to do this.
I can't wait to get back to school and start classes. *geek alert* These next 23 days can't go fast enough.
Grr.
Megan
/I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
it's one of those moments when everything is so clear
before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide because it's worth deciding
to and work on finding something more than this fear
takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now tell me how to make amends
maybe I need to see the daylight
leave behind the half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down
oh lately
something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape
no escape from time
of any kind
keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing
my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know when I figure it out
and I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
but you are another mystery I am missing
takes too much out of me to pretend
maybe I need to see the daylight
leave behind the half-life
don't you see I"m breaking down
oh lately
something here doesn't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape
no escape from time
of any kind?
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love again
cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
without you I am breaking down
oh wake me
I want to se the daylight
save me from this half-life
lets you and I escape
escape from time
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
again/ | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "To Be Loved" by Curtis Stigers | | Subject: | Rock my Sox | | Time: | 12:15 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sad.gif) sore |
|
| Quick update:
To Sarah and Sam, welcome to the big two-oh club. You can pick up your quarterlife crisis kit from me at your earliest convenience. Or you can just skip that little issue.
Back: so apparently this isn't healing quite right, may have to have surgery to fuse the bones or something gross like that. Go figure. The first bones I actually manage to seriously fracture are in my back. Well, if you're going to do it...and I've probably said that all before.
Baseball: Adam Stern is my (hopefully) temporary replacement for a favorite baseball player until Rocco Baldelli gets rid of his case of the disasters. And I shocked my dad last night because I knew the divisions between the leagues and which teams were in which.
School: I WANT TO GO BACK. Good news was discovered recently regarding school stuff. Will not be mentioned here for fear of good news not happening after all.
Vacation time: Spent three and a half days driving Ben up a wall. He deserves a special mention for putting up with me for that long with no incentives. The highlight of that vacation being when one of his friends asked us if we were cousins because apparently we look alike. It was v. scary.
Work: anyone seeking amusement/quilt stuff/meeeee should IM me and stop in and see me. Or not. Whatever. I'm over the worst part of the case of the burnouts that I had.
"The Island": Everyone should see it. It's cheesy, lots of gratuitous explosions and car chases, but sometimes that's just what you need. Know what I mean? Maybe you don't. Oh well.
Me: but that's just too sketchy, even for me.
Sam: but he's the love of your life!
Me: No, his accent/voice is the love of my life.
As previously mentioned: I am a fangirl, and I can change. If I have to. I guess.
Now that I've humiliated myself via lj again, I'm off to bed.
Night all
Meggers
Mind your manners
watch your weight
be a good boy
just behave
what's wrong with you
settle down
keep your two feet on the ground
sit up straight stand up tall
never falter never fall
stay in school make the grade
never fail and never fade
be a hero be a star
anything but who you are
find a girl to possess
always pay pursue protect
be the master be a slave
work your ass into an early grave
but you deserve to be loved
you deserve something real
time to heal, time to feel | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Apparently this is weekend is also a Canadian Holiday. I, the international studies major, am only aware of this because of all of the Canadians who deigned to acknowledge my presence today, because I am merely an idiotic American shopgirl.
This was my other indicator:
Your Slanguage Profile | | Canadian Slang: 100% | | British Slang: 75% | | New England Slang: 50% | | Aussie Slang: 25% | | Prison Slang: 25% | | Southern Slang: 0% | | Victorian Slang: 0% |
I'm going insane. I really am. This is...scary.
Meggers
/Even though I'm feeling low, I guess I'm feeling free/ | | comments: Leave a comment |
| stole it from Sam, but v. amusing.
evil captain pete....arrrrrr...pass the Mike's.
stole this one from Sam as well, who stole it from Danielle, who probably...well, you get the idea. Am not creative enough to do this.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Making Faces
What do you do most often when you are bored? Go on LJ or quilt
Most annoying thing to say to me? "You're just like your grandmother"
Bedtime? whenever I get tired. Yay for discipline.
Favorite TV show? LOST
Last person you went out to dinner with?: Sam
Been out of country? England, Germany, Poland, the Czech Republic.
Believe in magick? "magick?" no.
Ford or Chevy? ford baby.
What are you listening to right now? 1,2,3 season 1 ;)
Have you ever failed a grade? No
If you have, what grade did you fail? n/a
Do you have a crush on someone? I'd like to think so...
Do you have a bf/gf? I'm currently involved in a wonderful relationship. with myself.
If so, what is their name? Megan. duh.
How long have you been together? going on six months now...I love you :)
What are you wearing right now? jeans, halter top, socks
Would you have sex before marriage? why the fuck not?
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? no
Do you smoke? No
Do you drink? Sometimesish.
Are you ghetto? noway.
Are you a player? never had anyone tell me that...
What are your favorite colors? periwinkle, raspberry, goldenrod, (my goodness, can you TELL I work in a quilt shop?!)
What is your favorite animal? kitty!
Do you have any birthmarks? apparently I scarred myself before I was born...does that count?
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked? No
Have you ever been slapped? Yes
Do you get online a lot? Yes
Are you shy or outgoing? outgoing, but cautious around new people
Do you shower? twice a day
Do you hate school? Nope
Do you have a social life? what's that?
How easily do you trust people? far too easily.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? no. life's better if you're open with this type of thing.
Would you ever sky dive? most likely not.
Do you like to dance? Yes.
Have you ever been out of state? Yes
Do you like to travel? my goal in life is to get paid to travel.
Have you ever been expelled from school? no.
Have you ever been suspended from school? no.
Do you want to get out of your hometown? iffy on that now.
Are you spoiled? I am such a daddy's girl.
Are you a brat? damn right.
Have you ever been dumped? yep
Have you ever gotten high? no
Do you like snapple? sure.
Do you drink a lot of water? yes
What toothpaste do you use? the stuff in the bathroom
Do you have a cell phone? Yes.
Do you have a curfew? I have a reverse curfew- if I'm home before the appointed time, my parents freak out.
Who do you look up to? Condi, Dagny Taggart (not a real person, but all the same)
Are you a role model? I hope not.
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point? Six Flags New England
What name brand do you wear the most? GAP
What kind of jewelry do you wear? ring, earrings, necklace, watch
What do you want pierced? I'm thinking about another hole in each ear.
Do you like takin pictures? Yes
Do you like gettin your picture taken? oh so guilty.
Do you have a tan? one would have to be exposed to the sun for that to happen.
Do you get annoyed easily? yes
Have you ever started a rumor? okay, THAT was an accident.
Do you have your own phone or phone line? does a cell count?
Do you have your own pool? no
Do you prefer boxers or briefs? for self? hipsters ;). for guys, boxer briefs...
Do you have any siblings? younger brother.
Have you ever been played? probably
Have you ever played anyone? yeah
Do you get along with your parents? yes
How do you vent your anger? complain, fence, quilt.
Have you ever ran away? no
Have you ever been fired from a job? nope. dammit.
Do you even have a job? yes. I get to play with fabric and rotary cutters all day.
Do you daydream a lot? yes
Do you have a lot of ex's? 4...is that a lot? I guess so.
Do you run your mouth? I can paint a verbal masterpiece like you would not believe. Deal.
What do you want a tattoo of? nothing.
Have you ever been bitched out? yes, but not as often as I deliver the bitching. note to self...
Are you rude? unintentionally.
What was the last compliment you recieved? Nice hair. You look like... (though that may have been an insult. not quite sure.)
Do you like getting dirty? literally, yes.
Are you flexiable? I'm allegedly v. bendy.
What is your heritage? scottish/english/french
What is your lucky number? 87
What does your hair look like right now? it's a total mop of waves and curls.
Could you ever be a vegetarian? no. I love steak.
Describe your looks? um, tall...curvy(?)...olive complexion...
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color? dark reddish brown
Would you ever date someone younger than you? been there, done that
Would you ever date someone older than you? yeah.
When was the last time you were drunk? I was a wee bit tipsy on....fuck the math. it was recently.
How many rings until you answer the phone? at least two.
Have you ever been skinny dipping? no, but it's on my list of goals for life...the unpublished version ;)
If yes, when was the last time? n/a
When was the last time you went on a date? um...does it have to be successful? if not, then a month and a half ago. if yes, then...well, I can't count that high.
Do you look more like your mother or father? mother
Do you cry a lot? only about certain things in certain moods. so I guess not.
Do you ever cry to get your way? no
What phrase do you use most when on the phone? "okaysure"
Are you the romantic type? I guess I am, but I wish I weren't.
Have you ever been chased by cops? no
What do you like most about your body? my new hair?
What do you like least about your body? my f-ing back.
When did you have your first crush? like...third grade.
When was the last time you threw up? don't even go there.
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? I'm a sucker for brunettes and(ideally)/or waves and curls. but that's not a huge factor.
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly? it happens when you're too tall. but it's not intentional.
What about cleavage? I try, but it's hard when you're working with nothing.
Is your best friend a virgin? I can safely vouch for two...
Have you ever fucked someone up? if you mean screwed with their heads, yeah.
Have you ever been fucked up? once again, assuming that means being really messed up in the head, oooooh yes. I used to be almost normal. then...well, yeah.
What theme does your room have? the major theme right now is "MEGAN, DO YOUR F-ING LAUNDRY", but usually it's "MEGAN, PICK UP YOUR BOOKS!"
What size show do you wear? I don't wear any shows, thanks.
What is your screen name on AIM? lacatastrofista
How are you feeling right now? exhausted, stressed, in much pain, but what else is new?
When was the last time you were at a party? New Year's?
Have you ever given a lapdance? no
Have you ever recieved one? No
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you? yes, and I'm proud to be the source of so much entertainment.
What is one of your bad qualilties? uber-competitive
What is one of your good qualilties? uber-competitive (it goes both ways...)
Would you marry for money? money, no. health insurance, yes. jk. I think.
What do you drive? 2000 or 1999 Ford Escort. As you can tell, I pay a lot of attention to that type of thing.
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child? such a daddy's girl
When was the last time you cried in school? um...probably junior year.
Would you ever hook up with the same sex? never rule anything out. not in the cards right now but who knows?
What kind of music do you like? anything but death metal.
Would you ever bungee jump? didn't we already do this one?
What is your worst fear? betrayal.
Would you ever join the army? heh heh
Do you like cows? sure.
If you were to die today, what would you do? complete my mental breakdown.
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it be? I'm sorry.
Do you like to party? depends on my mood.
Hearts or broken hearts? broken hearts tend to be another theme of my life.
Moons or stars? moons
Coke or pepsi? neither.
Favorite scent? the smell at the beginning of a big summer storm
Favorite band? Matchbox 20.
Would you ever dye your hair red? been there, done that.
How many languages can you speak? English, French, passable Spanish, quasi-non-offensively-bad Arabic, humiliatingly awful German, Italian, Farsii
What time are you finishing this? 10:52.
big update, super stressed for the weekend
going to go be hysterical now
Megan
But I know as we go round and round
Though endings are never ever happy
It's the happy moments along the way
That in the end
Make it...ok... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| This team disaster member won the gold medal today, I think.
11:30: roll out of bed, watch half an hour of ER before realizing that Nate is picking me up at...
12:00: throw clothes on, still beat nate. went to get lunch and minigolfing.
12:30: realize that all mini golf places are closed until after dinner.
1:00: eat body's weight in ice cream, go home via the scenic route.
1:15: home, call Samantha. realize that all of my triangle quilt pieces are half an inch too large, spend second lunch attempting to fix that.
2:00: Sam shows up to pick me up. Being the genius that I am, I forgot that TA also gets out at 2 and it's pointless to attempt to leave my house until at least 2:30. Good job.
3:00: shoptillyoudrop
5:25: running late for dinner, we get on the turnpike. angst!on the turnpike ensues when Sam gets stuck behind a line of cars doing 50. She attempts to pass, I freak out because if we can't re-merge (is that a word?) then we're going to have to go all the way to Biddeford.
5:37: get off turnpike in Saco.
5:50: receive lecture from mother along following lines.
Fact: when we got off the turnpike, there was a car pulled over in a really weird way about a hundred feet away from the off ramp, and some state police officers wigging out about something. Fact: The turnpike was closed down between Scarborough and biddeford going south at 5:30. Fact: this was due to fact a, wherein the reason the police were going nuts was because the people in the car were shooting at other cars. Fact: That was soooo cool.
That last bit was added by me.
6:00: have following conversation with said mother:
Mum: That'll teach you to get on the turnpike between 4:30 and 6.
Me: Because they shoot at you?
6:30: is proud of self for making mum's face turn that color.
So Team Disaster is still going strong up here. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "I'll think of a reason later" by Leeann Womack | | Time: | 12:10 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/geeky.gif) dorky |
|
| Playing with my playlist and doing the 25 shuffle thing. So here are the first 25 songs that popped up, my apologies for in-jokes, perving, inappropriateness, cheesy flashbacks, and all panic attacks and nervous rashes that are results of this.
Apparently you're supposed to shuffle your MP3 player and list the first 25 songs and then what they make you think of
1) "Cannonball" by Damien Rice.
Watching "The 'L' Word" with Sarah. Talk about roommate bonding...
2) "I Saw" by Matt Nathanson.
Cheiftones, jitters, and embarassing lyrics (as far as my idea of lyrics goes).
/and I'll forget about you long enough to forget why I need to/and I saw pictures in my head/and I swear I saw you opening up again/cause I would be heavenly if baby you'd just rescue me now/the days are drifting away from me/I still wake up burning through everything/it's all I know/somebody save me now/
Almost makes me wish that I had the guts to follow through on things. Almostish.
3) "10,000 Miles" by Mary Chapin Carpenter
The key word here being "if". But it makes me sniffle about next year and hate myself for being sappy.
Oh come ye back /my own true love /and stay a while with me/If I had a friend/upon this earth/You’ve been a friend to me/
4) "I'll Say I'm Sorry Now" by Shawn Colvin
This song makes me think of the times it's been too late or too far gone to say "I'm sorry" to someone, and makes me a bit more aware of how we each hurt people without meaning to.
I'm gonna let you down/I know that now/Make you cry, I know I will/Why should you believe/I would never leave/Or that I love you still/For all the by and by/Hard as we try/The bough breaks and the cradle falls/for everything I do/That will tear at you/Let me say I'm sorry now/
5) "The Three of Us in the Dark" by Carly Simon
-"Wait, isn't that already a show?" And we have our first gag entry on the list. Well it's almost a gag. They'll use a gag if you ask. ;) I'm sorry, that was filthy. I really need to stop updating at this hour.
6) "When She's Gone" by Mary Chapin Carpenter
"When she's gone you won't miss her". Sometimes feels a bit like the story of my life. Friends are all well and good but sometimes I feel like when I'm gone I'm not missed. Not that I particularly blame anyone, but it would be nice for once to be the best friend that you need.
/you don't beg and you don't plead/or miss a thing that you don't need/she knew by the way you kissed her/when she's gone you won't miss her/morning comes on an old cat's paw/and when the sun hits the walls/the light's as bright as it ever was/after or before/
7) "Eleanor" by Low Millions
Stops thinking, starts dancing.
8) "Lose the Dress" by Kevin Tihista's Red Terror
So pervy. So wrong. So on the list.
9) "Mary's in India" by Dido
For every one who just wanted to leave.
10) "Slow Down" by Ben Jelen
A little sad, but on my lullabye list. Yes, at the age of twenty, I still have a list of songs that plays while I fall asleep. You're a jackass (you know who you are) for reducing me to the point of needing some sound so I don't wake up in cold sweats when I have nightmares. This also sounds about right at two in the morning when I've woken up screaming.
/And I forgot what I was looking for/I'd trade wisdom back in for innocence to get away from all these lies/Well I'd trade wisdom back in for innocence to get away from getting by/well I'd trade wisdom back in for innocence for just one look through those eyes/
11) "Breathe" by Michelle Branch
It's a good driving song. Also falls under the "theme song" category of life...fun enough, can't really dance to it...
12) "No one knows but you" by Beth Nielsen Chapman
This totally falls under the "Why do I even own this?!" category of life.
13) "Feelin' Good" by Michael Buble
I keep looking for the Bond girls when I hear this song, then I remember...wait! I'm a Bond girl in training. Or not.
14) "The End of my Pirate Days" by Mary Chapin Carpenter
aaaaaaaaaaargh, evil Captain Pete here. Megan's stepped out to grab some peanut butter, yeh see? Me pirate days will never end! Argh! Back ye land lub-
Megan here, sorry about that. Evil Captain Pete has been feeling neglected since we came home. He's feeling a bit black and blue now that I've manhandled my computer away from him. Can't say that I blame him all that much, especially since my parents don't understand the need for an alterego who happens to be a pirate.
15) "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
Spring break '05. We wore long underwear so you wouldn't have to. LC 228 proves that musicals do exist in real life by spontaneously bursting out into "Sweet Caroline" and "Love that Dirty Water" repeatedly in foreign cities around people who don't speak English. Go us.
16)"If I didn't have you" by Billy Crystal and John Goodman
/Wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you/
Luffs for Sarah!
17) "Vicodinland" by Bill Engvall
I miss Vicodinland. The people around me miss the idiotic things I do hwne visiting Vicodinland. Good times for all to come soon when we start physical therapy.
18) "Always the Last to Know" by Del Amitri
Totally lands itself on the "theme songs" list. Fun to rock out to, not so easy to dance to, even in Vicodinland.
19) "Take me out" by Franz Ferdinand
"Look, it's the singing girls"- jamming out in the car on the way back from Hilliards to the amusement of, hmm...everyone who drove by. Good job us.
20) "Flake" by Jack Johnson
I love this song, but I really have no f-ing clue what I was thinking when I downloaded it. Vicodin may have been involved.
21) "Rainy Days" by Vonda Shepherd
Okay, this song only took me two years to find. I lose.
22) "This is the last Time" by Keane
Because every time is the last time, all the time.
Someday I'll stop putting up with crap. Really, I will.
23) "Karma" by Alicia Keys
This one makes me want to daaance, which isn't always a good thing since it's on my driving list, and the police tend to frown upon that as an excuse for why your car is swerving.
/it's called karma baby, and it goes around/
you tell 'em girl.
24) "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan
It's a guilty pleasure, I'll admit it. It's not the best of songs by any means, but I think it's fun. And it's got serious potential...
25) "I'll Think of a Reason Later" by Leeann Womack
Damn frigging right. This one warrants a huuuuuuuuuge section of the lyrics.
/There was the girl on the social page/Lookin' in love and all engaged /We decided she don't take a very good picture /It may be my family's redneck nature /Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior /It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger /But I don't like her /She may be a stranger who spends all winter /Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner /A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner /But I really hate her /I'll think of a reason later/inside her head may lay all the answers for curing diseases/from baldness to cancer/the salt of the earth and a real good dance/but I really hate her/I'll think of a reason later/
Okay, who hasn't felt this way occassionally? *Jams out as she posts*
Megan's songblitz is sort of done. For now at least.
Night all
/I really hate her, but I'll think of a reason later/ | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I, Megan, have got a date. For Saturday night.
*cue funeral march of the marionette*
No, it can't be all that bad...
...I hope.
Is the fact that I haven't met him yet because he's from ROCKLAND a bad sign?
Who knows. This may go well.
Or I may just have to commit myself.
Or give up dating all together and get a cat and a house with a sewing room.
REVISED GOAL LIST:
-Have a crush on a guy (since that is directly related to being able to date a guy I've got a crush on)
-take a nap cuddled up with someone sweet
-vacuum my room
Sarah- if I should suffer physical harm from the sheer embarassment that will be occurring, you totally get my Sean Bean video collection. ;) You perve, you. No wait, that's me.
Takes mental note to stop updating LJ in this frame of mind
Night all
Meggers
/light up
light up
as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
louder, louder
and we'll run forwards
I can hardly speak
I understand
why you can't raise your voice
to say
slower slower
we don't have time for that
all I want's to find an easier way
to get out of our little heads
have heart my dear
we're bound to be afraid
even if it's just for a few days
making up for all this mess/ | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| I'm feeling so weird right now I don't know where to begin. I miss Sarah, and to tell the truth I'm terrified of being at home. I don't know why, but I am. I haven't been this anxious in a long time. I'm hoping it's just because I missed a lot of medication when I was sick, and it'll go away and get better.
For those of you who don't know, I was really sick. And Sarah and Mike came through for me like I never would have imagined and helped me out lots. I talked to the doctor you guys, and she said that friends who made me drink gatorade and got me ice cubes pretty much kept me out of the hospital. Apparently it was a pretty close call, even on Monday.
So I decided to compose a list of goals for life to be amended repeatedly. So far the list goes as follows:
-Learn to kick a door open
-Learn to pick a lock
-Be able to drink my coffee plain
-Complete at least two things on the 1000 places to see before you die list a year. Hopefully more.
-just once be the girl that walks into a room and makes everyone just stop. in a good way. But that's not so much of a good goal.
-Pass bartending school
-fill a passport
-have a stamp on my passport from a state that later ends up on the State Department restricted list (Eeeeegypt baby)
-Get a date with a guy I've got a crush on.
Those are some pretty tall orders. I'm going to go to bed now to pretend that I stand a chance at some of those.
Night all
Meggers
still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
still a little hard to say what's going on
still a little bit of your ghost your weakness
still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
I can’t say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life, taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
still a little bit of your song in my ear
still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon..
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
so come on courage
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose it
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| and I'm just sorry that it's taken this to make you see.
WARNINGS: Melodrama, melodrama, and self-pity.
Every. Fucking. Time.
I really, honest-to-God thought that this time around I was enough. But we're all allowed to be wrong. I'm past the need for a relationship (a date would be ridiculously nice from the right person...who could seriously be almost anyone), but I really wanted to be enough of a friend. Apparently I can't even do that right. So right now I'm sitting on the floor of my room in massive pain (fecking ice patches...) and contemplating going to Cairo earlier than planned despite the bombings and shootings of the past month. And not coming back. I love my family, but there are days when I honestly think that's all that's here. There are days when I love my friends more than I can begin to describe, but right now I'm so humiliated that I've let myself get to this position where I can get this hurt again. I wanted to be enough. Does anyone GET that? Seriously. I wanted to be the best friend, the one you'd do anything for. I'd do anything for my friends- I thought that I'd proven that lately. I really do like doing those things for you guys- and that should tell you something. I don't usually *like* doing things for other people. But I really do like doing things like running errands or helping you guys out. Just that sometimes, it would be nice to feel like I get a little back. I know I bitch a lot...cry for attention much?
Just do me a favor and don't make promises you can't, won't, or aren't willing to keep. That's what the big issue is. The following words are on a temporary banned list when used seriously: "forever", "always", and "best friend", unless you're willing to prove it. And I mean it.
It's not any one person. And this is also me being territorial and shy and afraid to go out and meet new people- I'm doing better with that, but it would be flipping wonderful to have a few people who...well I can't describe it.
Bugger that.
Working all weekend...driving back to school tomorrow...let hell week begin.
Meggers
edit: I'm realizing this sounds a mite dangerous to meself. It's not. It's just a rant. It is my goal in life to live long and to cause as much chaos as possible without harming anyone. Self included. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "I Saw" by Matt Nathanson | | Subject: | This is me | | Time: | 11:16 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/thoughtful.gif) contemplative |
|
| Updating for the first time in what feels like seven years.
I feel like I'm actually swimming now as opposed to drowning in work and life. So that's good. I guess.
As per usual, March. Sucked. I survived, only to have stupid Gateway lose my computer (le grrr) the first week of April. They ended up finding it, and now the little demon is back. Today we went to buy a new DVD player and had to go through three different DVD players (checking out and everything) before we got the right one. Brilliant. F-ing brilliant. April looks to be the month of technical meltdowns. Brace for impact.
Got my Cairo approval on Thursday. Big tourist area bombing in Cairo. On Thursday. This is really starting to get personal.
We went to the A Capella Jam on Friday night, which was a good thing for me to unwind at after driving home and back earlier that day. Then once I was sufficiently unwound, I started thinking too much. Stupid, stupid girl. Then we ended up in Mike's room and I ended up crying (and for those of you back home- I just don't cry) about some crap about being lonely. I am really quite disappointed in myself for feeling lonely- I've put myself into this situation to soem extent, but it just gets frustrating when I'm running around all week and then when I finally have time to unwind and go do something, everyone else has a) already done it b) is busy doing THEIR activites, or c) has three years' worth of homework. Just really frustrating.
Meanwhile, I may have started to develop feelings for someone. This is bad. Very bad. Why? Long story short, I'm tired of getting my hopes up only to have them dashed by someone who is so close to perfect that it's got to hurt to be that way.
Grr.
Maybe it's spring fever and this will go away with serious meditation and the weather. That could work. I hope. Cause I'm really, really, really not up for the whole chase thing.
Note to self: get out of funk. Grow spine.
Heard the Chieftones sing this song, and being the melodramatic little kiddo that I am, fell in love with it.
Meggers
/forget about you long enough to forget why I need to/ | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "Magic" by Ben Folds Five | | Subject: | March hates me. | | Time: | 08:20 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/wideeyed.gif) scared |
|
| And everyone. But that's no new news.
The Thursday before my trip, the doctor on campus decided that all of my falling down/lack of coordination may be due to MS. We all freaked out, and got in to see a neurologist on Friday morning. He in turn ordered MRI's and they squeezed me in. I didn't get done until Friday at dinner, so mum decided to stay the night in a hotel, and then we heard in the morning that the MRI's looked fine, so yay. No MS. Or brain tumors. Joy.
So our trip- I don't know what to say. It was long, and while I learned a lot, I don't feel like I can really say a trip to death camps and ghettos was "fun". It would have been more fun if I had felt up to going out and doing things with the group. For those of you who don't know, I got a cold that developed into bronchitis, then I apparently turned yellow. Good job self. The magnitude of what was going on didn't hit me until I was home and finishing my journal, and I realized that the Nazi politicians weren't being politicians and saying what they thought the public wanted to hear. They honestly believed that the Jews needed to be killed...they meant every single murder. After that dawned on me, I spent the rest of the week skipping class and trying to get over that and every genocide comitted to my knowledge. I'd pack up my books to go to class and it would hit me. Or it would hit me in the middle of the night. I'm doing better now, but it really wiped me out.
So I got back, got real meds, and then found out that my blood tests were back. Bronchitis- clear. MS- "It's not MS. Yet." Apparently there's something in my blood tests that said it could be MS or something, I don't know. I'm just more than a little wigged out about it, but it'll be okay. It's not like MS kills most of the people that have it.
So then I went home to get Little Car. I was supposed to come back to school on Saturday, so I went out to get some CD's and such on Friday night. That's when I slipped and fell in a parking lot, and spent fifteen minutes lying in a puddle on top of a layer of ice (which is what I'd slipped on in the first place). This really sweet family called the paramedics since I hurt my elbow, and my back. Lying there in the puddle, I couldn't move anything from the bottom of my ribcage down for a few minutes, which wasn't really terrifying until afterwards when I realized the full potential of that. I spent my first Friday night in the states strapped to a backboard in a neck brace in the ER. Once they established that I hadn't broken my neck or my back, they took me off the backboard, and when my dad picked me up so they could take it out from under me, my hip spasmed. I got to have lots of x-rays, and then they determined that I'd managed to acquire deep-muscle and bone bruises in my elbow, my back, and my hip, to name a few. *attempts to pat self on back*
I came back to school, went to class like a good girl, then went home for Easter break. Stacey had her baby, Uncle Gary may be moving to CA, and my back is still killing me.
I'm just scared right now of the potential for things to happen, and what is going to happen. I'm not going into my deep thoughts on loneliness, what I want in a relationship, or any of that jazz right now.
So I was trying to wait to post a positive entry, but I thought that maybe doing a March Exorcism entry would get rid of the bad shit that should happen for the next two days.
Or not.
Either way, hope everyone had a great break.
Megan
--
from the back of your big brown eyes
I knew you'd be gone as soon as you could
and I hoped you would
we could see that you weren't yourself
and the lines on your face did tell
it's just as well
you'd never be yourself again
saw you last night
dance by the light of the moon
stars in your eyes
free from the life that you knew
you're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground
you're the breath that blows these cool winds 'round
trading places with an angel now
saw you last night
dance by the light of the moon
stars in your eyes
free from the life that you knew
saw you last night
stars in your eyes
smiled in my room | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "The scientist" by Aimee Mann | | Subject: | PEER PRESSURE!!! | | Time: | 10:02 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/amused.gif) amused |
|
| 1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
Peer pressure like woah. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| Sounds about right.
My favorite part of travelling is playing the packing game. Rules are as follows: Time from when you begin emptying suitcase if its previous contents, continue timing until suitcase is zipped shut. I set a personal record today in packing for a two week trip in less than an hour.
I'm feeling excited about this whole thing I guess. The shocks of last week are still wearing off, so it hasn't really hit me taht we're supposed to leave for Poland tomorrow (provided the snowstorm doesn't go all evil). For those of you who don't know, we had a bit of a scare with MS last week. The doctor here rocks, and she got me in to see a neurologist, who got me in to have four MRI's and blood work done on Friday afternoon. Everyone was really helpful, and it's not MS (or a brain tumor). So I'm off to Poland, and we'll deal with why I'm falling down once I get back.
On top of all of that, the week was just weird all around. Ask if you're that curious.
I went home on Saturday to see the family. I also saw the Cotes when they drove by my house.
Last night: watched Oscars, attempted to study for two midterms today.
Today: took two midterms back to back. I always joked about majoring in test taking. I think that's still an option.
Tomorrow: leave here at 1:30. Leave Logan around 4:30 (in theory). Possibility of flight being delayed- high. Possibility of flight being cancelled, factoring in the fact that I'm on the flight- high. Wait for the rant.
Next two weeks- hopping around Poland, the Czech Republic, and Germany for a class. There may or may not be livejournal posts in there...I'm not sure yet.
I hope everyone has a great spring break...and a warm one.
And hopefully March this year will just be weird. I can skip all the crap that goes on in March usually, kplzthnx (that one's for Sam ;) )
And the snow has begun. *gulp*.
Wishing you luck
Meggers | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
|
Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Chocolate
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
miraleni's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/happy.gif){kind=small}
hopeful![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/yawn.gif){kind=small}
exhausted![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sob.gif){kind=small}
lonely